What! No Tea and Scones Again?
Grin, bear it and think of England
Saturday, 15 December 2018
Translating Literally
I saw 'one night stand' translated into Bahasa as 'pendirian satu malam'. Must have also been done by the same nutters who do not have the depth of intellect to understand that the word 'angel' can be used in multiple contexts.
Tuesday, 11 December 2018
KALAU TIDAK MAHU DIHINA...
Kalau tidak mahu dikeji, dihina, ditindas dan dipijak, janganlah berkelakuan seperti siamang mengamuk tunjuk kuat di tengah jalan. Buat digelak dek orang saja.
Sebaliknya perkemaskan keperibadian. Bertindak dan berfikirlah sebagai satu masyarakat yang tinggi adabnya, mulia akhlaknya, adil dalam tindak-tanduknya, amanah dalam urusannya. Jadilah satu masyarakat yang tinggi pengetahuannya, mahir dalam pekerjaannya dan bijaksana dalam kepimpinannya.
Pendek kata, jadilah contoh dan teladan. Jadilah sebuah masyarakat yang sesuai dengan hak-hak istimewa yang telah diberikan. Inilah cara supaya masyarakat Melayu tidak dikeji, dihina, ditindas dan dipijak. Ia bermula dengan diri sendiri. Adakah kamu bersedia untuk menggalas tanggung jawab ini?
Mulai hari ini, hentikanlah juga berkiblatkan pemimpin yang korup tetapi masih berbaju kot dan bertali leher. Hentikanlah juga berkiblatkan pemimpin yang sanggup menunggang agamanya demi kepentingan peribadi.
Thursday, 9 March 2017
The Person Who Taught Me English
Over the years as a freelance trainer I have taught English to perhaps a few thousand people. Now, this is the person who taught me English - Mrs Mary Shanti Dairiam. She is one of the people who has made all this possible.
Apart from having been my English teacher, she is also one of the nicest people anyone could ever have the privilege of knowing. The thing about Mrs Dariam is that she didn't just teach me English - she also taught me what life was about.
Thank you, Mrs Dairiam.
Sunday, 5 March 2017
The Selesa is No More
Nobody is ever prepared for that inevitable moment when the
end comes. Though we might have seen it coming for quite some time, when the
end actually embraces us in its trembling embrace, the moment is never what we
thought it would be. I just never thought this would apply to the closing of a
hotel.
In the past seven years or so, I’ve been doing a lot of work
for a client in Pasir Gudang, Johor. Almost invariably, the client would put me
up at the Selesa Hotel. For the past twenty years or so the Selesa has been
Pasir Gudang’s premier hotel. In fact, it is the only decent hotel that serves
the Pasir Gudang area. Come 15 March 2017 it will be closing its doors to the
public for good.
As I am unfamiliar with the star-rating system for hotels, I
have no idea how many stars I would give the Selesa. Let’s just say the Selesa occupies
a space somewhere between The Sheraton Imperial (where the bath towel is even more
expensive than my weekend sports watch) and the no-frills hotels that bear two-syllable
Chinese names we usually find in smaller towns (where the thinning bath towels
are so tiny that I can hardly wrap them around my waist).
I have met many who have stayed at the Selesa. More often
than not, the general consensus is that it hardly lives up to its name. I
suppose in its early days the Selesa might have been a nice place to stay (one
of my childhood friends was even the General Manager once). But I suppose
financial difficulties, challenging maintenance issues and poor design finally
took its toll. Once in a while, much to my consternation, I have found the
occasional cockroach crawling up my headboard and a toilet or two that just
refused to flush properly no matter what I did. However, to the Management’s
credit, a maintenance guy would always come along within in a few minutes to
fix the problem. Still, in the case of a non-flushing toilet, embarrassment was
always part of the deal.
Despite all this, I have grown very fond of the hotel. Yes,
hospitality professionals are trained to serve you well. But my experience tells
me that things at the Selesa were something else - for me, at least. At the
standard 5-star hotel, for instance, I could never shake the feeling that the
polish and smiles of the staff were just their training kicking in. At the
Selesa, however, I have never needed any vigorous convincing to believe that
the staff treated me more like a friend than just another guest. Of course, having
had more than 600 room-nights over the past seven years at the hotel has had something
to do with this.
Yes, there have been
cockroaches. Yes, there have been toilets that wouldn’t flush. Yes, there have
been occasions when the lifts would fail (sometimes with me in it). But their
coffee house still serves the best mee goreng mamak in the country – even
better than the one at the mamak stall in Kampung Jawa, Melaka. And while
everybody else gets two sachets of Nescafe for their room every day, I get
four. Oh, and there’s also that bit
about me getting only the biggest, cleanest, and fluffiest bath towels whenever
I stayed at the hotel.
I’m not saying that the Selesa has the mystique and history
of the former Majestic Kuala Lumpur, the former Station Hotel of Ipoh or the
former E&O Hotel of Penang. Anyone with an IQ above 50 would be able to
tell the difference between these hotels and the Selesa. What I’m saying is
that over the years I have developed a soft spot for the hotel.
Let’s say money was not an issue and the Raffles were to open
right next to the Selesa, would I still choose to stay at the Selesa? I would
still choose the Selesa in a heartbeat. Of course, this is all academic now.
Come 15 March, the Selesa will be no more.
And when I checked-out of the Selesa for the last time
yesterday, the staff and I parted ways with hugs instead of handshakes. No,
there were no tears. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Saturday, 12 September 2015
It's a Homage
Let’s face it. Realistically, some things we can never have
– at least, not in this lifetime. Yes, positive thinking is powerful stuff. But
even positive thinking has its limits.
Take the Rolex Milsub (reference numbers 5513 and 5517), for
example. To say the Milsub is a nice watch is not much different from saying
that Angelina Jolie is only a so-so girl. No one ought to be able to say things
like that and not deserve to die by the delivery of a well-timed Steven Seagal iriminage
to the throat. Yes, Milsubs (military Submariner) are unbelievably beautiful
watches.
But there’s more to the Milsub than just a pretty face,
though. For instance, let’s look at the 5513 (the rarer of the two) which made
its debut in 1976. Though both the 5513 and the 5517 were made exclusively for
the British Royal Navy, only 1,200 units of the 5513 were ever produced. On top
of all that, if one ever surfaced for sale on the market today, the asking
price would be a mind-blowing, dream-crushing, ego-destroying USD150,000 - or
more.
The Rolex Milsub (Military Submariner) |
Now, what’s the likelihood of someone like me finding USD150,000
lying idle around the house in this lifetime? To anyone who thinks this is a
realistic possibility, please search Youtube to see what a Steven Seagal iriminage
looks like. Now, ponder effect of this technique being applied on you.
But let’s say – for argument’s sake – that by some miracle I do find USD150,000 lying idly about. Would I blow it all on a Rolex Milsub? I suppose I could. But then again, I’d probably be immediately struck down by lightning for committing such an obscene extravagance. What good would the Milsub be to me then?
This is where homage watches come in. Homage watches are
watches that are created as a tribute to the original. They stay as true to the
spirit of the original as religiously as possible, but at the same time making
it a point to retain an identity all their own.
At this point you might be asking, just how is that
different from a fake/counterfeit/knock-off watch? Personally, I think it all
boils down to intent. The homage watch doesn’t seek to fool anybody into
thinking it’s the real thing. Its intent is solely to be a tribute to the
original. The fake, on the other hand, goes all out from the get-go to make
anyone and everyone believe that it is the real thing. Thus, in my books,
homage watches are fine. Fake watches, on the other hand, are the horologic
equivalents of silicone boobs: nice to see and (probably) hold, but after the
novelty wears off, nobody ever really wants them anymore.
This brings us to a German company that produces Swiss made
watches: Steinhart. Steinhart has made a niche for itself by creating homages
to some of the most iconic watches in the world. In our case, the Steinhart
Ocean Vintage Military Version 2 (OVM2) is a homage to the mind-blowing,
dream-crushing and ego-destroying USD150,000 Rolex Milsub (specifically, the
5517 version).
The Steinhart OVM2 stays true to the spirit of the Rolex
5517 Milsub – right down to slightly domed sapphire crystal, the
radium-coloured lume and minute-markers that go all the way around the rotating
bezel. However, it departs from the original in that it proudly (and
unmistakably) presents the Steinhart logo just below the watch’s 12 o’clock
index marker. The Steinhart also sports a more modern 42mm case diameter as
opposed to the 40mm of the Milsub. Finally, the Steinhart OVM2 has removable
lug-pins rather that the fixed ones as found on the Milsub.
The Steinhart OVM 2 |
Naturally, the Steinhart OVM is powered by a more modern
movement: the ETA2824-2. One feature of this movement is that it allows for
hand-winding. This is a major nostalgic plus for me as it harks back to the
days when I used to watch my grandfather wind his Rolex Oysterdate every
morning. The ETA 2824-2 movement is also hackable. This means that when we
adjust the time, the seconds hand stops. This allows us to synchronise the time
with other watches much more easily. For a borderline OCD like me, this is a
Godsend.
Close up of the OVM 2 |
In the end, the Steinhart OVM2 is NOT the Rolex Milsub.
Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong in that. The trouble begins
when we start thinking (and start wanting others to also think) that the OVM is
actually a Milsub. That’s when all sorts of bad things happen. Getting the OVM2
is like finally finding a girl who is just like the girl we’ve always wanted –
the one we’ve been pining for all our lives, but who has always been, and will
always be out of reach. As long as we know (and accept) they are not the same
people, we’re going to do just fine.
Once again, the OVM is NOT the Milsub. The aesthetic cues
and (more importantly) the spirit of the OVM2 may point to the Milsub. But they
are still different watches. The OVM2 is a homage to the Milsub; it does not
pretend to be the Milsub.
It is what it is.
At a mere 0.29% of the price of a Milsub, the OVM2 is
looking like a pretty good proposition to me. Even so, I accept that not
everybody will see it this way – especially not those with USD150,000 to spend
on a watch.
Wednesday, 9 September 2015
It's About Time
It’s probably safe to say that four out of five wristwatch
owners are missing out on the joys of owing a watch. Here, I would like to
share some insights into the simple pleasures of owning a watch (or watches).
It doesn’t matter if you own a RM15 Mickey Mouse watch that you bought from a
kiosk at the local shopping mall or a RM150K two tone vintage gold Rolex that
you inherited from a rich uncle. At some level, the pleasure (believe it or
not) is going to be just about the same.
In this post, I’ll start with something horologists call
movement (also known as calibre). To most of us, this what we would normally
call the engine of the watch – the mechanism that makes it tick. I’ll be
discussing the main types of movements and what they have to offer. Hopefully,
this will help you appreciate your watch a bit better and enjoy the watch even
more. Who knows? This might even help you make a more informed decision for
when you buy your next watch. At the very least, with this information you
might just be able to surprise your watch aficionado friends the next time the
subject of watches crops up.
Quartz Watches
I’ll start with the more popular (as in ubiquitous)
movement. Known as quartz movements, these probably accounts for over 90% of
watches out there. In quartz watches, a battery of some sort is always
involved. The battery powers the watch and helps the quartz regulate the
accuracy of movement.
It all began when Seiko began making the first commercially
viable quartz watches back in the early 70s. The Quartz Revolution (as it is
called), took the world by storm and almost killed off the mechanical watch
industry. Quartz movements are popular because they are cheap, accurate, and
reliable. For example, a bog standard quartz watch might gain or lose maybe 20
seconds in an entire month. A reasonably good mechanical movement, on the other
hand, might gain or lose that same amount of time in a single day. On top of
that, a quartz watch will most likely cost only a fraction of the price of a
mechanical watch.
Switzerland, Japan and China are the biggest makers of
quartz movements. They produce these by the millions and supply them to watch
companies the world over. As you might expect, watches powered by a Swiss
movement will usually cost more than one powered by a Japanese quartz movement.
Notable quartz movements are Ronda, ESA (both Swiss) and Miyota (Japan). The
RM15 Mickey Mouse watch is probably going to be powered by a no-name Chinese
movement. However, China-made quartz movements are currently making tremendous
inroads into the entry-level and lower mid-tier quartz watch categories.
Mechanical Watches
Next, we’ll talk about mechanical movements. This is the
historical and traditional way of making watches. A mechanical movement relies
on energy supplied by winding a spring to power the watch. No batteries are
involved. If you lay down all the parts of a mechanical movement on a table,
they do absolutely nothing on their own. However, when assembled by a skilled
craftsman, these parts magically come to life and move the hands of a watch
with the precision the required in time-keeping. Mechanical movements will
always involve the skill and experience of a craftsman. It is a science as well
as an art. It always has been, it always will be. This is why watch collectors,
enthusiasts and obsessives will almost always prefer a mechanical watch.
When discussing mechanical movements, there are two types we
need to be to be aware of: the automatic and hand-winding. The automatic is one
that harnesses the movement of your arm to power the watch. As long as the
watch is in a state of motion, you are in effect, ‘charging’ the watch. This is
why some call this a perpetual movement. However, leave it motionless on your
desk for a few days and the watch will stop ticking. To start it again, just
give the watch a few gentle shakes and it will come back to life.
By far, the most popular maker of automatic movements is ETA
(owned by the Swatch group). ETA movements and modified ETA movements can be
found in almost all Swiss brands. The Seiko-Epson group also produces movements
that it supplies to other watch companies (for example to Tag Heuer). While
still a relatively unknown, China-made mechanical movements (e.g. Tianjin
Seagull) are also finding their way into some watch brands.
The thing about mechanical watches is that not all watch
companies (and this is where it gets interesting) use movements mass produced
by the likes of ETA or Seiko-Epson to power their watches. Some companies
produce their own movements in-house. Frederique Constant and Orient are
examples of watch-makers that offer in-house movements.
The hand-winding movement, on the other hand, requires
energy supplied by hand-winding the crown to power the watch. Forget to wind-up
the watch and you might find that it will stop ticking in the middle of your
business day. Chances are these were the kind of watches our grandfathers had.
I still have fond memories of my grandfather hand-winding his Rolex every
morning. Today, the hand-winding movement (for some reason) is found only in
higher-end modern mechanical watches. Of course, you will also find
hand-winding movement in vintage (pre-1971) watches, but let’s not go there for
now.
So What?
Knowing the various movements available allows us to
appreciate our watches more. It also gives us an opportunity to make better
informed choices in the future: making choices that go beyond the mere
aesthetic appeal of a watch.
Do you prefer the clinical accuracy of a quartz watch? Yes,
they are cheaper and more robust. But after 15 years or so, it’s likely you’re
going to have to junk it: repairing it will cost more than buying a new one.
Or do you prefer the artistry, craftsmanship and romance
behind a mechanical watch? Yes, they require a bit more maintenance and cost a
bit more. But they also tend to last forever (when maintained well) and can be
heirloom pieces to be enjoyed through generations.
In the end, the decision will largely depend on the kind of
person you are and what you want in life. Quartz or mechanical? It doesn’t
really matter. What does matter is that your choice in something as personal as
a wristwatch ought to be as close an approximation as possible to who you are
as a person.
This matters because the watch does not make the person; the
person makes the watch.
Wednesday, 27 May 2015
STOP KILLING STREET PHOTOGRAPHY
Show me an enthusiast and I’ll show you an opinionated
person. That’s the nature of an enthusiast. It doesn’t matter what their chosen
field of endeavour might be. It doesn’t matter if they are guitar players,
bicyclists, coffee lovers, cupcake makers, card-carrying party member or
whatever. Enthusiasts will have strong opinions. Photographers, too, are no
exception to the rule. However, before you start vigorously swinging your
tripods and chasing me on the streets with the intent of doing me grievous
bodily harm, let me first say that being opinionated is not necessarily a bad
thing. It might be annoying, but it isn’t necessarily bad.
Here, I’ll be talking about a wildly popular genre of
photography: street photography. I will try to explain what the experts think
it is, why it’s so popular and how street photography might end-up killing
itself. This is relevant simply because it will hopefully help us became better
(street) photographers.
First let’s look at demographics. Easily sixty per cent of
Malaysians live in urban and suburban areas. So, statistically speaking, if you
happen to be a photography enthusiast there is a three in five chance you’d be
an urban-dweller. As such, what would be the natural environment for your
photographic pursuits? Yup, it would be the city streets simply because it will
more convenient to you. Thus, it is likely that sixty per cent of photographers
will turn out to be street photographers. There is nothing wrong with this. It’s
just demographics.
Now let’s look at what the experts think street photography
might be. To paraphrase the experts, street photography is any photograph taken
in a public place that captures people in candid situations. So far, so good. But
that’s only a starting point – a working definition.
Over the years, many have added to this. For example, street
photography means never shooting the subject from the back. Street
photography isn’t about shooting homeless people. Street photography is about using
only natural light. Real street photographers never post-process their images.
Real street photographers shoot only in black-and-white. The list goes on blah,
blah, blah…
Now here comes the spanner in the works. For every single
rule in street photography, there will be one that advocates its diametric
opposite. It is OK to shoot the subject’s back if it conveys the desired
effect. It’s OK to shoot homeless people if done tastefully. It is OK to shoot
in colour because Vivian Maier also occasionally shoots in colours. It is OK
not to have people in the photo of it strongly depicts the spirit of the
streets. The list goes on. For every rule there is always a counter-rule. The
only one remaining common ground seems to be that the photo must be taken in a
public place. Then again, we don’t know how long this rule will survive.
The problem here becomes, if we take into consideration all
of street photography’s rules and counter-rules, the genre becomes so nebulous
that the genre ends up becoming meaningless. In theory, at least, a nude
portrait (obviously posed, not candid) shot in a secluded part of the Lake
gardens using a barrage of remotely triggered strobes and then extensively photoshopped
to include a few Star Wars storm-troopers might just qualify as street
photography. Obviously, this is a ridiculous outcome. However, it is still
street photography because it has taken into account all the rules and
counter-rules.
The ‘No rule is the rule’ maxim might work for Bruce Lee’s
Jeet Kune Do, but for street photography, a free-for-all, no-holds-barred melee
will take it back full circle to plain old photography. The ‘I-will-shoot-whatever-I-want-in
any-manner-I-want-as-long-as-it-is-in-a-public-place’ school of thought might
be seductive, but it should not legitimately be called street photography. Not
too long ago it was simply called photography. This is why the ‘street-photography-is-whatever-I-choose-it-to
be’ philosophy will be the genre’s own undoing. This anything-goes mindset will
eventually obliterate the genre’s credibility. It will be shame because street
photography is such a vibrant and exciting genre.
Where to now? Personally, I think it all boils down to
discipline. Yes, the anything-goes approach is seductive. But so are designer
drugs, mindless spending and free sex. The way to go is perhaps to choose three
or four established rules of street photography and stick to that until we’ve
built a substantive body of work that feature those rules. After that, move on
to other rules, maybe incorporate a counter rule or two and then build another
body of work based on that. By doing this we will establish credibility for the
genre, and at the same time turn it into a credible discipline – the art form
that street photography deserves to be. Who knows? This might even turn street
photography into a paying proposition.
I know, rules suck. However, I think we’ve established that having
no rules suck even worse.
If you still want to take a swing at me with your tripod, I
can usually be found shooting outside my home in Umbai, Melaka with my trusty
Fuji X100.
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